


Charcoal and Pooping Unicorns

by HerbertBest



Category: Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party (Band)
Genre: Cooking, Domestic Fluff, Doppelcest, FWB to Romance, Falling In Love, Humor, M/M, Selfcest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 13:57:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22971388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerbertBest/pseuds/HerbertBest
Summary: Danny and Dan's transition from casual lovers to permanent couple comes with a number of realizations and self-sacrifices.
Relationships: Dan Avidan/Danny Sexbang - Relationship
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Charcoal and Pooping Unicorns

He looks impressively cute with his mouth wide open and a snore on his lips.

The thought fills Danny’s head and his heart like a sudden thunderstorm floods a valley. He’d been lying in bed, minding his own business, watching Dan sleep and then the idea fills up his somewhat empty head – he looks really cute. Maybe he should tell him this.

Danny hasn’t had this thought before about any of his other lovers, not even once in his callow young life. He loves beautiful women, and he certainly doesn’t abuse them, but for the most part they never ever enter into his thoughts after he’s come and gone. With Dan it’s different. 

Part of him wonders if that has to do with their parallel lives. Because Dan is him but not him – because they match and do not – perhaps he doesn’t trigger Danny’s flight-or-fight mechanism. 

But that wouldn’t be fair to Dan – to his uniqueness, to his scars. It wasn’t fair even to Danny, who was more than the sum of his sexual conquests.

The other man groaned and rolled onto his back, staring at the canopied ceiling of Dan’s white bed. This was a conundrum. To a man whose answer to the question “cake or pie?” was “both,” trying to hone in on Dan and figure out if it was forever was harder than anticipated.

*** 

Dan expected to wake up alone the next morning. That was the pattern with Danny – they’d fuck a little, it would be great, and Dan would wake up alone to a million questions.

Questions like: if it totally dickish to fuck your doppleganger? If you’re in love with this person who looks like you, who may be you from another universe, is it incest or a form of masturbation? And does this make him way gayer than he even thought he was?

In short: his life was more of a mess than usual.

The sound of something crashing in the kitchen set him upright. Was it the dog? Could it be the garbage man? He grabbed his boxer-briefs from the floor and stuffed himself into them, then ran in the direction of the cacophony. 

He was greeted by a noxious cloud of grey smoke and the sound of his smoke alarm shrilly sounding its discontent. From the chaos emerged a head of curls and a wide smile. Danny held out a white platter of scorched waffles before him, his grin wide. 

“I have made breakfast!” Danny said. 

“Uh…thanks man,” Dan said. He wasn’t entirely sure if he could stomach the burnt-black offering but he’d try to. Maybe with syrup….

It occurred to him that Danny was making the sort of gesture he normally made toward women he liked. Dan had no idea if he was flattered by the effort – usually the course of events lead to a dumping for the next girl in line, just another part of the Sexbang ritual – well, at least the way he played it. But Danny was watching him eagerly.

Dan sighed and sat down. He had some bananas and some syrup.

And charcoal was good for his digestive system.

*** 

Danny starts to realize he’s changing –being shapshifted by love – when he turns down the very stacked Putonian blonde whose life he’s just saved for some thank-you sex.

“No, my dear, I’m afraid I’ve outgrown that,” he said. 

The blonde had cried blue tears as she’d ridden off on her winged unicorn. Her winged, cotton candy-pooping unicorn. 

Never let it be said that Danny Sexbang wouldn’t go the full magilla for true love.

*** 

Danny came back from his mission a whole week early, which shocked Dan, who had been in the middle of planning a full nationwide tour. He hadn’t realized how deeply he buried himself in his work whenever Danny wasn’t around, and how miserable he was by the end of the day.

So when Danny strolled in, Dan went into the – now fully cleaned of soot and grease by professionals – kitchen. He then made a stir-fry and scooped out some sticky rice and placed it on a plate. Then he served both to Danny with a smile.

“You…don’t cook,” Danny said, sitting down and poking the food with his fork.

“I do for you,” Dan said.

*** 

Dan realized Danny was there to stay when he found himself figuring out if his neighborhood was zoned for triple-wide time machines shaped like a phallus.

Danny realized Dan was there to stay when he ate three full meals cooked up by Danny at his home and didn’t barf up even one. 

Somehow they managed to carve a life out of space exploration and dick jokes and glitter and bad puns and video games. And pizza. And sex. 

But that, reader, is a different story.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday, Emily!


End file.
